I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize