thus making me awesome and them whores
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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