All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I wish I only lived at night.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
