gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
