ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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