well I can't set my house on fire every night
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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