so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
