Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize