haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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