every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
