I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
