Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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