so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
