Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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