My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize