dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
What's dad's email?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck