The maid of honor just puked.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
