did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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