Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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