Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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