I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
