I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize