Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
