Why are handjobs necessary in class?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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