dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize