I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize