Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
