How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
