just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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