enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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