he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I need to calm my uterus...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize