a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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