she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize