i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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