Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
