I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
