I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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