I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
