"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
