apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Say something about gay babies.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
