are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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