you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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