Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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