Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
