This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
