Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
