So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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