dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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