she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
