dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
