you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
