Your dad touched me again.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
