My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
