I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
