I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
