I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
