i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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