obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
